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My Favorite Animal

6/5/2013

Our teacher asked what my favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken." She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, because everyone else laughed.

My parents told me to always tell the truth. I did. Fried chicken is my favorite animal. I told my dad what happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA. He said they love animals very much. I do, too. Especially chicken, pork and beef.

Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal's office. I told him what happened, and he laughed, too. Then he told me not to do it again.

The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal was.

I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, so I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken. She sent me back to the principal's office. He laughed, and told me not to do it again. I don't understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn't like it when I am.

Today, my teacher asked us to tell her what famous person we admire most. I told her, "Colonel Sanders." She asked me why?...
Guess where I am now...

Honesty is truly the best policy, even if others don’t like it. The opposite of honesty is dishonesty which involves lying. The bible is very clear about the seriousness of lying.

Ephesians 4:25 Therefore, putting away lying, "Let each one of you speak truth with his neighbor," for we are members of one another.

Revelation 21:7-8 He who overcomes shall inherit all things, and I will be his God and he shall be My son. 8 But the cowardly, unbelieving, abominable, murderers, sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars shall have their part in the lake which burns with fire and brimstone, which is the second death."

May we always determine to “speak truth with our neighbor”. Larry Pasley

A $1000.00 Offering

3/29/2013

One Sunday a preacher told the congregation that the church needed some extra money and asked the people to prayerfully consider giving a little extra in the offering plate. He said that whoever gave the most would be able to pick out three hymns.

After the offering plates were passed, the preacher glanced down and noticed that someone had placed a $1,000 bill(this must have been some time ago since this bill is no longer printed) in offering. He was so excited that he immediately shared his joy with his congregation and said he’d like to personally thank the person who placed the money in the plate.

A very quiet, elderly and saintly lady all the way in the back shyly raised her hand. The preacher asked her to come to the front. Slowly she made her way to the front. He told her how wonderful it was that she gave so much and in thanksgiving asked her to pick out three hymns. ….Her eyes brightened as she looked over the congregation, pointed to the three handsomest men in the building and said, “I’ll take him and him and him.”

(REMEMBER WORDS CAN MEAN DIFFERENT THINGS TO DIFFERENT PEOPLE)

We must allow God’s word to describe sin. When man decides the description of sin it lessens the seriousness of man’s actions. Man has always tended to think actions were not sinful when God has said they were. Satan started this tendency in the garden when he diminished God’s command not to eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, and man has been doing it ever since.

Society today rejects, as being wrong, almost everything God had called sin. Drunkenness, adultery, fornication, lying, cheating, stealing, murder, violence, all are said by society to be okay today. We need to allow the creator to determine what constitutes sin and accept his definition not that of society.

1 John 3:4 Whoever commits sin also commits lawlessness, and sin is lawlessness.
1 John 5:17a All unrighteousness is sin,
James 4:17 To him who knows to do good and does not do it, to him it is sin.
Proverbs 14:34 Righteousness exalts a nation, But sin is a reproach to any people.
Our nation is in serious trouble because of our rejection of God’s definition of sin. - Larry Pasley

Clay Balls

3/28/2013

A man was exploring caves by the seashore. In one of the caves he found a canvas bag with a bunch of hardened clay balls. It was like someone had rolled clay balls and left them out in the sun to bake. They didn't look like much, but they intrigued the man, so he took the bag out of the cave with him.

As he strolled along the beach, he would throw the clay balls one at a time out into the ocean as far as he could. He thought little about it, until he dropped one of the clay balls and it cracked open on a rock .... inside was a beautiful, precious stone!

Excited, the man started breaking open the remaining clay balls. Each contained a similar treasure. He found thousands of dollars worth of jewels in the 20 or so clay balls he had left.

Then it struck him. He had been on the beach a long time. He had thrown maybe 50 or 60 of the clay balls with their hidden treasure into the ocean waves. Instead of thousands of dollars in treasure, he could have taken home tens of thousands, but he had just thrown it away!

It's like that with people. We look at someone, maybe even ourselves, and we see the external clay vessel. It doesn't look like much from the outside. It isn't always beautiful or sparkling, so we discount it. We see that person as less important than someone more beautiful or stylish or well known or wealthy. But we have not taken the time to find the treasure hidden inside that person.

There is a treasure in each and every one of us. If we take the time to get to know that person, and if we ask God to show us that person the way He sees them, then the clay begins to peel away and the brilliant gem begins to shine forth.

May we not come to the end of our lives and find out that we have thrown away a fortune in friendships because the gems were hidden in bits of clay. May we see the people in our world as God sees them.

Isaiah 64:8 But now, O Lord, You are our Father; We are the clay, and You our potter; And all we are the work of Your hand.

2 Cor. 4:7 But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellence of the power may be of God and not of us.

Lament. 4:2 The precious sons of Zion, Valuable as fine gold, How they are regarded as clay pots, The work of the hands of the potter!

1 Samuel 16:7 But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature, because I have refused him. For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."
May we see the value in one another that God sees in each of us. - Larry Pasley

JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS

3/27/2013

A country family took a vacation to New York City. One day, the father took his son into a rather large building; they were amazed by everything they saw --especially the elevator at one end of the lobby.

The boy asked, "What's this, Paw?" The father responded, "Son I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is!"

While the boy and his father were watching in wide-eyed astonishment, an old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button.

The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights above the walls light up.

They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction. The walls opened again, and a beautiful 24-year-old woman stepped out.

The father turned to his son and said, "Quick, Go get your Maw."

This story illustrates the fact that when we don’t understand something then we tend to jump to conclusions.

Lack of bible knowledge causes people to jump to conclusions also. Honest and sincere people sometimes read a scripture and jump to a conclusion because they don’t consider all the bible says about the subject. Before we draw conclusions on what the bible says about a particular subject we need to be sure we have all the information available. A good concordance is a valuable tool to help with gaining that knowledge.

We also jump to conclusion about people sometimes because we don’t have all the information we need. There may be circumstances we are unaware of that contribute to the attitudes or actions of others. As the old saying goes, “We should not criticize a person until we have walked a mile in their shoes.”

Jumping to conclusions can be dangerous for us whether it pertains to our understand of God’s Word or other people. We need to look closely before we leap. - Larry Pasley

Think About What You Are Doing

3/22/2013

Perhaps you have heard about the preacher that woke up one Sunday morning to find it a perfect day for golf. He wanted to go golfing so badly that he called one of the elders and pretended to be sick. He skipped church, drove to another town and went golfing. On the first hole he got a hole in one. On the second he got another. He had never had one before and to get 2 in one day was thrilling until he realized that since he was alone and skipping church to be there he couldn't tell anyone and had no witnesses.

I have heard similar stories involving hunting and fishing.

How Important Is Following Directions?

1/16/2013

This is a good way to illustrate the importance of reading and following the instructions properly. If it is done properly it should take about 1-2 minutes, improperly done it could take 5-10. I usually allow two minutes or even print it in the bulletin so they can have it done before the sermon begins. This goes well with lessons on the plan of salvation, the organization of the church, the worship of the church, or other lessons about obedience. You can look at it below and download it at the bottom of the post.

FOLLOW THE DIRECTIONS
Directions: First read all 14 of the numbered items below. After reading all of the statements and questions you can do as they tell you.
1) Circle the word 'directions' in the title.
2) What is your favorite season of the year?
3) Where do you usually attend church services?
4) What time is it right now?
5) Underline 'follow' at the top of the page.
6) Spell your name backwards
7) What is your favorite Bible verse?
8) Who is your favorite Bible character?
9) Go back and read the directions again.
10) Erase or mark out your answer to #4 and replace it with the time it is right now.
11) Write the name of the person sitting to your right if there is one.
12) Do you think you have everything right so far?
13) On what page of your Bible is Genesis 1:1 found?
14) Completely ignore numbers one through thirteen and just write your name on the back of the page. Don't tell anyone the secret.

followthedirections.pdf
File Size:	23 kb
File Type:	pdf

followthedirections.txt
File Size:	1 kb
File Type:	txt

followthedirections.wpd
File Size:	3 kb
File Type:	wpd

What a woman!

6/21/2011

One young preacher was reading in Genesis about Adam and Eve. Two of the pages in his Bible were stuck together and what he read was, " Adam named his wife Eve, because she would become (page turn) 450 feet long, 75 feet wide and 45 feet high." He paused and thought for a moment and then said, "I never noticed that before, but if the Bible says it I believe it and all I can say is she must have been some woman."
Well, the Bible does say there were giants. As far as I know this particular event has never taken place, but some nearly as funny actually have.

How Sharp Are You?

6/16/2011

    There was a strong young man during the depression who was eager to find work. He did not have many skills, but he did have an ax that his grandfather had left to him. He went around to all of the loggers offering his labor. At the last he begged for a chance to show what he could do. The foreman told him to come early the next morning (even though he didn't need anyone) and he would get a chance.
    The youngster worked hard the next day and out performed almost all of the more experienced men, so the foreman decided to keep him on another day. The next day when he did well, but not as well as the first day. The foreman assumed that some soreness from the first day had hampered the fellow. On the third day, he did less.  When he did even less on the fourth day the foreman was concerned that he might need to send him packing, but before that he would talk to the boy.
    The boss noticed on the fifth day that the boy was the first one out working and when the others had gone home he was still at it, but had done less than any other day. He called the young man to him and asked him why he was struggling so much now when he had started so well. The youngster had no explanation. He felt like he had been working harder, but was not able to do as much.
    By this time the boss had a pretty good idea of what the problem was. "Let me see your ax, son" he said. When the boy handed over the ax it clearly had a blunt edge and the foreman asked, "Have you been taking time to sharpen your ax?"
    "No, sir, I haven't had time I have been too busy working to stop," he replied.
    The foreman explained the necessity of taking the time to sharpen the blade so the work would be productive. what about you are you taking the time to sharpen your skills, your tools, your sword, etc. It is essential to remaining productive in God's army, vineyard, kingdom, etc.
    Ecclesiastes 10:10 If the iron is blunt, and one does not sharpen the edge, he must use more strength, but wisdom helps one to succeed.

Grace Under Pressure

6/3/2011

    Did you hear about the teacher who was helping one of her kindergarten students put his boots on? He asked for
help and she could see why. With her pulling and him pushing, the boots still didn't want to go on.
    When the second boot was on, she had worked up a sweat. She almost whimpered when the little boy said,
"Teacher, they're on the wrong feet." She looked and sure enough, they were. It wasn't any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on. She managed to keep her cool as together they worked to get the boots back on _ this time on the right feet.
    He then announced, "These aren't my boots."
    She bit her tongue rather than get right in his face and scream, "Why didn't you say so?" like she wanted to. Once again she struggled to help him pull the ill_fitting boots off.
    And then he said, "They're my brother's boots. My Mom made me wear them." She didn't know if she should laugh or cry. She mustered up the grace to wrestle the boots on his feet again. She said, "Now, where are your mittens?"
    He said, "I stuffed them in the toes of my boots..."

Confess or not?!?

6/3/2011

Three preachers were out in a boat fishing. They began to discuss struggles with preaching and eventually got around to their own personal weaknesses. The first one confessed to being strongly tempted by gambling and said that on occassion he would even slip out of town to go to the casino. The second preacher confessed that his biggest struggle was alcohol and that he kept a stash of liquor that he would get into at times. The third preacher began to make all kinds of excuses for why they needed to get back home. The others pressed him and finally he confessed that he had a weakness for gossip and couldn't wait to get back and spread the news he had just learned.