I have heard similar stories involving hunting and fishing.
Perhaps you have heard about the preacher that woke up one Sunday morning to find it a perfect day for golf. He wanted to go golfing so badly that he called one of the elders and pretended to be sick. He skipped church, drove to another town and went golfing. On the first hole he got a hole in one. On the second he got another. He had never had one before and to get 2 in one day was thrilling until he realized that since he was alone and skipping church to be there he couldn't tell anyone and had no witnesses.
I have heard similar stories involving hunting and fishing.
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One young preacher was reading in Genesis about Adam and Eve. Two of the pages in his Bible were stuck together and what he read was, " Adam named his wife Eve, because she would become (page turn) 450 feet long, 75 feet wide and 45 feet high." He paused and thought for a moment and then said, "I never noticed that before, but if the Bible says it I believe it and all I can say is she must have been some woman."
Well, the Bible does say there were giants. As far as I know this particular event has never taken place, but some nearly as funny actually have. Three preachers were out in a boat fishing. They began to discuss struggles with preaching and eventually got around to their own personal weaknesses. The first one confessed to being strongly tempted by gambling and said that on occassion he would even slip out of town to go to the casino. The second preacher confessed that his biggest struggle was alcohol and that he kept a stash of liquor that he would get into at times. The third preacher began to make all kinds of excuses for why they needed to get back home. The others pressed him and finally he confessed that he had a weakness for gossip and couldn't wait to get back and spread the news he had just learned.
The story is told of the preacher who was visiting an elderly widow. During the visit she was called away for one reason or another and he was left in the room alone. After a few minutes a bowl of peanuts drew his attention and eventually he ate one, then a handful, and before she returned had finished the whole bowl. He felt a bit guilty about it and was compelled by his conscience to confess it to her when she returned. He told her what he had done and apologized and offered to buy her more peanuts. She just laughed and said, "Don't worry, sonny, I don't need any peanuts. Those were some left from my last bag of M&M's I can't eat the nuts so I just suck the chocolate off and spit the peanuts in a bowl to throw away."
Bet he learned to leave things that weren't his alone. There was a family that had a visiting preacher over for dinner. In the process of the visit a Bible question came up and they needed their family Bible to find the answer. In their desire to impress the preacher, they sent their young child to get the Bible, telling him, "Go in Mommy and Daddy's room to the table by the bed and get the big book that we read out of so much."
The child quickly took off only to return a minute later with the Sears catalog. I realize that there is no longer a Sears catalog and children, teens, and even young adults don't know what it is, but the message that this family obviously spent more time looking at a catalog than at the Bible. At least from the child's perspective it seemed that way. I don't know where I first heard this story or whether it is a true story or not. |
AuthorJames Pasley: Preacher, Minister, and Evangelist. Archives
June 2013
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